Knowing the real Name of YHVH (יהוה) the Most High of Israel.

Wednesday, July 25, 2018

Prayers and Blessings

Prev | Table of Contents | Next Tefillah: Prayer | Need for Prayer | Mindset for Prayer | Language for Prayer | Group Prayer | Berakhot: Blessings | Who Blesses Whom? | Content of a Berakhah | Form of a Berakhah | Grace After Meals See also Jewish Liturgy Prayers and Blessings Level: Intermediate Tefillah: Prayer The Hebrew word for prayer is tefillah. It is derived from the root Pe-Lamed-Lamed and the word l'hitpallel, meaning to judge oneself. This surprising word origin provides insight into the purpose of Jewish prayer. The most important part of any Jewish prayer, whether it be a prayer of petition, of thanksgiving, of praise of God, or of confession, is the introspection it provides, the moment that we spend looking inside ourselves, seeing our role in the universe and our relationship to God. For an observant Jew, prayer is not simply something that happens in synagogue once a week (or even three times a day). Prayer is an integral part of everyday life. In fact, one of the most important prayers, the Birkat Ha-Mazon, is never recited in synagogue services! Observant Jews are constantly reminded of God's presence and of our relationship with God, because we are continually praying to Him. Our first thoughts and words in the morning, even before we get out of bed, is a prayer thanking God for returning our souls to us. There are prayers to be recited just before enjoying a material pleasure, such as eating or drinking, or just after them, such as after eating or drinking or after buying new clothes or ordinary household items; prayers to recite before performing any mitzvah (commandment), such as washing hands or lighting candles; prayers to recite upon seeing anything unusual, such as a king, a rainbow, or the site of a great tragedy; prayers to recite whenever some good or bad thing happens; and prayers to recite before going to bed at night. All of these prayers are in addition to formal prayer services, which are performed three times a day every weekday and additional times on sabbaths and festivals. See Jewish Liturgy. The Need for Prayer Many people today do not see the need for regular, formal prayer. "I pray when I feel inspired to, when it is meaningful to me", they say. This attitude overlooks two important things: the purpose of prayer, and the need for practice. One purpose of prayer is to increase your awareness of God in your life and the role that God plays in your life. If you only pray when you feel inspired (that is, when you are already aware of God), then you will not increase your awareness of God. In addition, if you want to do something well, you have to practice it continually, even when you do not feel like doing it. This is as true of prayer as it is of playing a sport, playing a musical instrument, or writing. The sense of humility and awe of God that is essential to proper prayer does not come easily to modern man, and will not simply come to you when you feel the need to pray. If you wait until inspiration strikes, you will not have the skills you need to pray effectively. Before starting to pray regularly, many find that when they want to pray, they do not know how. They do not know what to say, or how to say it, or how to establish the proper frame of mind. If you pray regularly, you will learn how to express yourself in prayer. Kavanah: The Mindset for Prayer When you say the same prayers day after day, you might expect that the prayers would become routine and would begin to lose meaning. While this may be true for some people, this is not the intention of Jewish prayer. As said at the beginning of this discussion, the most important part of prayer is the introspection it provides. Accordingly, the proper frame of mind is vital to prayer. The mindset for prayer is referred to as kavanah, which is generally translated as "concentration" or "intent". The minimum level of kavanah is an awareness that one is speaking to God and an intention to fulfill the obligation to pray. If you do not have this minimal level of kavanah, then you are not praying; you are merely reading. In addition, it is preferred that you have a mind free from other thoughts, that you know and understand what you are praying about and that you think about the meaning of the prayer. Liturgical melodies are often used as an aid to forming the proper mindset. Many prayers and prayer services have traditional melodies associated with them. These can increase your focus on what you are doing and block out extraneous thoughts. Hebrew: The Language for Prayer The Talmud states that it is permissible to pray in any language that you can understand; however, traditional Judaism has always stressed the importance of praying in Hebrew. A traditional Chasidic story speaks glowingly of the prayer of an uneducated Jew who wanted to pray but did not speak Hebrew. The man began to recite the only Hebrew he knew: the alphabet. He recited it over and over again, until a rabbi asked what he was doing. The man told the rabbi, "The Holy One, Blessed is He, knows what is in my heart. I will give Him the letters, and He can put the words together". Even liberal Judaism is increasingly recognizing the value of Hebrew prayer. It seems that fifty years ago, you never heard a word of Hebrew in a Reform synagogue. Today, the standard Reform prayer book contains the text of many prayers in Hebrew, and many of the standard prayers are recited in Hebrew, generally followed by transliteration and an English translation. Some Reform rabbis read from the Torah in Hebrew, also generally followed by an English translation or explanation. There are many good reasons for praying in Hebrew: it gives you an incentive for learning Hebrew, which might otherwise be forgotten; it provides a link to Jews all over the world; it is the language in which the covenant with God was made, etc. For us, however, the most important reason to pray in Hebrew is that Hebrew is the language of Jewish thought. Any language other than Hebrew is laden down with the connotations of that language's culture and religion. When you translate a Hebrew word, you lose subtle shadings of Jewish ideas and add ideas that are foreign to Judaism. Only in Hebrew can the pure essence of Jewish thought be preserved and properly understood. For example, the English word "commandment" connotes an order imposed upon us by a stern and punishing God, while the Hebrew word "mitzvah" implies an honor and privilege given to us, a responsibility that we undertook as part of the covenant we made with God, a good deed that we are eager to perform. This is not to suggest that praying in Hebrew is more important than understanding what you are praying about. If you are in synagogue and you do not know Hebrew well enough, you can listen to the Hebrew while looking at the translation. If you are reciting a prayer or blessing alone, you should get a general idea of its meaning from the translation before attempting to recite it in Hebrew. But even if you do not fully understand Hebrew at this time, you should try to hear the prayer, experience the prayer, in Hebrew. Group Prayer Most of our prayers are expressed in the first person plural, "us" instead of "me", and are recited on behalf of all of the Jewish people. This form of prayer emphasizes our responsibility for one another and our interlinked fates. Formal prayer services are largely a group activity rather than an individual activity. Although it is permissible to pray alone and it fulfills the obligation to pray, you should generally make every effort to pray with a group, short of violating a commandment to do so. A complete formal prayer service cannot be conducted without a quorum of at least 10 adult Jewish men; that is, at least 10 people who are obligated to fulfill the commandment to recite the prayers. This prayer quorum is referred to as a minyan (from a Hebrew root meaning to count or to number). Certain prayers and religious activities cannot be performed without a minyan. This need for a minyan has often helped to keep the Jewish community together in isolated areas. Berakhot: Blessings A berakhah (blessing) is a special kind of prayer that is very common in Judaism. Berakhot are recited both as part of the synagogue services and as a response or prerequisite to a wide variety of daily occurrences. Berakhot are easy to recognize: they all start with the word barukh (blessed or praised). The words barukh and berakhah are both derived from the Hebrew root Bet-Resh-Kaf, meaning knee, and refer to the practice of showing respect by bending the knee and bowing, getting down on the knees and prostrating on the ground. There are several places in Jewish liturgy where bowing is performed, most of them at a time when a berakhah is being recited. At the end of the formal standing prayer, one is required to at least get down on his knees, if not to prostrate himself altogether on the ground; this requirement is commonly ignored by most Jews today, but continues to be the practice among Muslims all over the world, who learned this from the Jews, who still did it at the time Islaam was founded. According to Jewish Law, a person must recite at least 100 berakhot each day! This is not as difficult as it sounds. Repeating the Shemoneh Esrei three times a day (as all observant Jews do) covers 57 berakhot all by itself, and there are dozens of everyday occurrences that require berakhot. Who Blesses Whom? Many English-speaking people find the idea of berakhot very confusing. To them, the word "blessing" seems to imply that the person saying the blessing is conferring some benefit on the person he is speaking to. For example, in Catholic tradition, a person making a confession begins by asking the priest to bless him. Yet in a berakhah, the person saying the blessing is speaking to God. How can the creation confer a benefit upon the Creator? This confusion stems largely from difficulties in the translation. The Hebrew word "barukh" is not a verb describing what we do to God; it is an adjective describing God as the source of all blessings. When we recite a berakhah, we are not blessing God; we are expressing wonder at how blessed God is. Content of a Berakhah There are basically three types of berakhot: ones recited before enjoying a material pleasure (birkhot ha-na'ah), ones recited before performing a mitzvah (commandment) (birkhot ha-mitzvot) and ones recited at special times and events (birkhot hoda'ah). Berakhot recited before enjoying a material pleasure, such as eating and drinking, acknowledge God as the creator of the thing that we are about to enjoy. The berakhah for bread praises God as the one "who brings forth bread from the earth". The berakhah when putting on our clothing every morning praises God as the one "who clothes the naked". By reciting these berakhot, we acknowledge that God is the Creator of all things, and that we have no right to use things until we recognize what He has done. The berakhah essentially gains permission to use the thing. Berakhot recited before performing a mitzvah (commandment), such as washing hands or lighting candles, praise God as the one "who sanctified us with his commandments and commanded us" to do whatever it is we are about to do. Reciting such a blessing is an essential element of the performance of a mitzvah. In Jewish tradition, a person who performs a mitzvah with a sense of obligation is considered more meritorious than a person who performs the same mitzvah because he feels like it. Recitation of the berakhah focuses our attention on the idea that we are performing a religious duty with a sense of obligation. It is worth noting that we recite such berakhot over both biblical and rabbinical commandments. In the latter case, the berakhah can be understood as "who sanctified us with his commandments and commanded us to obey the rabbis, who commanded us to" do whatever it is we are about to do. See Halakhah: Jewish Law for an explanation of the distinction between biblical and rabbinical commandments. Berakhot recited at special times and events, such as when seeing a rainbow or a king or hearing good or bad news, acknowledge God as the ultimate source of all good and evil in the universe. It is important to note that such berakhot are recited for both good things and things that appear to us to be bad. When we see or hear something bad, we praise God as "the true Judge", underscoring the idea that things that appear to be bad happen for a reason that is ultimately just, even if we in our limited understanding cannot always see the reason. Form of a Berakhah Many of the berakhot that we recite today were composed by Ezra and the Men of the Great Assembly nearly 2500 years ago, and they continue to be recited in the same form. All berakhot use the phrase "Barukh atah Hashem, Eloheynu, melekh ha-olam", Blessed art thou LORD, our God, King of the Universe. This is sometimes referred to as shem umalkhut (the name and the sovereignty), the affirmation of God as king. The use of the word "thou" is worth discussing: in modern English, many people think of the word "thou" as being formal and respectful, but in fact the opposite is true. Thou (like the Hebrew atah) is the informal, familiar second person pronoun, used for friends and relatives. This word expresses our close and intimate relationship with God. Immediately after this phrase, the berakhah abruptly shifts into the third person; for example, in the birkhot ha-mitzvot, the first two phrases are blessed art thou, LORD our God, King of the Universe, who has sanctified us with his commandments and has commanded us to . . . This grammatical faux pas is intentional. The use of the third person pronoun while speaking to a person in Hebrew is a way of expressing extreme respect and deference. This shift in perspective is a deliberately jarring way of expressing the idea that God is simultaneously close to us and yet far above us, intimately related to us and yet transcendent. This paradox is at the heart of the Jewish relationship with God. Birkat Ha-Mazon: Grace After Meals One of the most important prayers, one of the very few that the Bible commands us to recite, is never recited in synagogue. That prayer is birkat ha-mazon, grace after meals. In Deuteronomy 8,10, we are commanded that when we eat and are satisfied, we must bless the LORD, our God. This commandment is fulfilled by reciting the birkat ha-mazon (blessing of the food) after each meal. Reciting birkat ha-mazon is commonly referred to as bentsching, from the Yiddish word meaning to bless. Although the word "bentsch" can refer to the recitation of any berakhah, it is almost always used to refer to reciting birkat ha-mazon. The grace after meals is recited in addition to the various berakhot over food recited before meals. Birkat ha-mazon actually consists of four blessings, three of which were composed around the time of Ezra and the Great Assembly and a fourth which was added after the destruction of the Temple. These blessings are: Birkat Hazan (the blessing for providing food), which thanks God for giving food to the world, Birkat Ha-Aretz (the blessing for the land), which thanks God for bringing us forth from the land of Egypt, for making His covenant with us, and for giving us the Land of Israel as an inheritance, Birkat Yerushalayim (the blessing for Jerusalem), which prays for the rebuilding of Jerusalem and the coming of the Mashiach; and Birkat Ha-Tov v'Ha-Maytiv (the blessing for being good and doing good), was added after the destruction of the Temple, although it existed before that time. It emphasizes the goodness of God's work, that God is good and does good. In addition to these four blessings, the full birkat ha-mazon incorporates some psalms and additional blessings for various special occasions (holidays, guests, etc.) Prev | Table of Contents | Next Got a question or comment? Write Us!

Menorah

Prev | Table of Contents | Next Mezuzah | Tefillin | Tzitzit and Tallit | Yarmulke | Menorah | Magen David | Chai Signs and Symbols Level: Basic Mezuzah On the doorposts of traditional Jewish homes (and many not-so-traditional homes!), you will find a small case like the one pictured at right. This case is known as a mezuzah ("doorpost"), because it is placed upon the doorposts of the house. The mezuzah is not, as some suppose, a good-luck charm, nor does it have any connection with the lamb's blood placed on the doorposts in Egypt. Rather, it is a constant reminder of God's presence and God's commandments. The commandment to place mezuzot on the doorposts of our houses is derived from Deuteronomy 6,9, at the end of the paragraph of the passage commonly known as the Shema ("Hear", from the first word of the passage). In that passage, God commands us to keep His words constantly in our minds and in our hearts, by (among other things) writing them on the doorposts of our house. The words of the Shema are written on a tiny scroll of parchment, along with the words of a companion passage, Deuteronomy 11,13. On the back of the scroll, a name of God "Shaddai" is customarily written. The scroll is then rolled up placed in the case. The scroll must be handwritten and must be placed in the case to fulfill the commandment. It is commonplace for gift shops to sell cases without scrolls, or with mechanically printed scrolls, because a proper scroll generally costs more than even an elaborately decorated case. Mechanically printed scrolls do not fulfill the mitzvah of the mezuzah, nor does an empty case. The case and scroll are then nailed or affixed to the right side doorpost on an angle, with a small ceremony called Chanukkat Ha-Bayit (dedication of the house - yes, this is the same word as Chanukkah, the holiday celebrating the rededication of the Temple after the Maccabean revolt against Greece). A brief blessing is recited. Why do some affix mezuzah at an angle as shown above and some straight up and down? The question was not decided in the Talmud whether it should be placed horizontally, vertically, or somewhere in between; so customs differ (and it appears that either way is just fine). Every time you pass through a door with a mezuzah on it, you are reminded of the commandments contained within the mezuzah and of God who commanded you to observe them. It is proper to remove a mezuzah when you move, if the next residents are not to be observant Jews; and in fact, it is recommended. If you leave it in place, the subsequent owner may treat it with disrespect or even distroy it. Tefillin The Shema also commands us to bind the words to our hands and between our eyes. We do this by laying tefillin, that is, by binding to our arms and foreheads a leather pouch containing scrolls of Torah passages. The word "tefillin" is usually translated "phylacteries", although we do not much care for that term, partly because it is not very enlightening if you do not already know what tefillin are, and partly because it means amulet, and suggests that tefillin are some kind of protective charm, which they clearly are not. On the contrary, the word "tefillin" is etymologically related to the word "tefillah" (prayer) and the root Pe-Lamed-Lamed (judgment). Like the mezuzah, tefillin are meant to remind us of God's commandments. At weekday morning services, one case is tied to the arm, with the scrolls at the biceps and leather straps extending down the arm to the hand, then another case is tied to the head, with the case on the forehead and the straps hanging down over the shoulders. Appropriate blessings are recited during this process. The tefillin are customarily removed at the conclusion of the morning services, though they should be worn all day long. Tzitzit and Tallit The Torah also commands us to wear tzitzit (fringes) at the corners of our garments as a reminder of the commandments (Numbers 15,37-41). This commandment only applies to four-cornered garments, which were common in biblical times but are not common anymore. Observant Jewish men commonly wear a special four-cornered garment, similar to a poncho, called a tallit katan, so that they will have the opportunity to fulfill this important commandment. The tallit katan is typically worn under the shirt, with the tzitzit hanging out so they can be seen. A larger four-cornered shawl called a tallit (pictured above) is worn by men during morning services, along with the tefillin, though they should be worn in all prayer services at the very least. There are several complex customs for tying the knots of the tzitzit, each filled with religious and numerological significance. Menorah One of the oldest symbols of the Jewish faith is the menorah, a seven-branched candelabrum used in the Temple. The kohanim lit the menorah in the Sanctuary every evening and cleaned it out every morning, replacing the wicks and putting fresh olive oil into the cups. The illustration at right is based on instructions for construction of the menorah found in Exodus 25,31-40. It has been said that the menorah is a symbol of the nation of Israel and our mission to be "a light unto the nations" (Isaiah 42,6). The sages emphasize that light is not a violent force; Israel is to accomplish its mission by setting an example, not by using force. This idea is highlighted in the vision in Zechariah 4,1-6. Zechariah sees a menorah, and God explains: "Not by might, nor by power, but by My spirit". The lamp-stand in today's synagogues, called the "ner tamid" (literally, the continual lamp; usually translated as the eternal flame), symbolizes the menorah. The nine-branched menorah used on Chanukkah is commonly patterned after this menorah, because Chanukkah commemorates the miracle that a day's worth of oil for this menorah lasted eight days. Yarmulke The most commonly known and recognized piece of Jewish garb is actually the one with the least religious significance. The word yarmulke (usually, but not really correctly, pronounced yammica) is Yiddish. According to Leo Rosten's The Joys of Yiddish, it comes from a Tartar word meaning skullcap. According to some Orthodox and Chasidic rabbis, it comes from the Aramaic words "yerai malka" (fear of or respect for The King). The Hebrew word for this head covering is kippah (pronounced key-pah). It is an ancient practice for Jews to cover their heads during prayer. This probably derives from the fact that in Eastern cultures, it is a sign of respect to cover the head (the custom in Western cultures is the opposite: it is a sign of respect to remove one's hat). Thus, by covering the head during prayer, one showed respect for God. In addition, in ancient Rome, servants were required to cover their heads while free men did not; thus, Jews covered their heads to show that they were servants of God. In medieval times, Jews covered their heads as a reminder that God is always above them. Whatever the reason given, covering the head has always been regarded more as a custom rather than a commandment. There is no special significance to the yarmulke as a specific type of head covering. Its light weight, compactness, and discreteness make it a convenient choice of head gear. We are unaware of any connection between the yarmulke and the similar skullcap worn by the Pope, but it might be due to the influence of Jews on the Church, which is not unknown. Star of David The Magen David (shield of David, or as it is more commonly known, the Star of David) is the symbol most commonly associated with Judaism today, but it is actually a relatively new Jewish symbol. It is supposed to represent the shape of King David's shield (or perhaps the emblem on it), but there is really no support for that claim in any early rabbinic literature. In fact, the symbol is so rare in early Jewish literature and artwork that art dealers suspect forgery if they find the symbol in early works. Scholars such as Franz Rosenzweig have attributed deep theological significance to the symbol. For example, some note that the top triangle strives upward, toward God, while the lower triangle strives downward, toward the real world. Some note that the intertwining makes the triangles inseparable, like the Jewish people. Some say that the three sides represent the three types of Jews: Kohanim, Levites and Israel. While these theories are theologically interesting, they have little basis in historical fact. The symbol of intertwined equilateral triangles is a common one in the Middle East and North Africa, and is thought to bring good luck. It appears occasionally in early Jewish artwork, but never as an exclusively Jewish symbol. The nearest thing to an "official" Jewish symbol at the time was the menorah. In the middle ages, Jews often were required to wear badges to identify themselves as Jews, much as they were in Nazi Germany, but these Jewish badges were not always the familiar Magen David. For example, a fifteenth century painting by Nuno Goncalves features a rabbi wearing a six-pointed badge that looks more or less like an asterisk. In the 17th century, it became a popular practice to put Magen Davids on the outside of synagogues, to identify them as Jewish houses of worship in much the same way that a cross identified a Christian house of worship; however, we have never seen any explanation of why this symbol was chosen, rather than some other symbol. The Magen David gained popularity as a symbol of Judaism when it was adopted as the emblem of the Zionist movement in 1897, but the symbol continued to be controversial for many years afterward. When the modern state of Israel was founded, there was much debate over whether this symbol should be used on the flag. Today, the Magen David is a universally recognized symbol of Jewry. It appears on the flag of the state of Israel, and the Israeli equivalent of the Red Cross is known as the Red Magen David. Chai This symbol, commonly seen on necklaces and other jewelry and ornaments, is simply the Hebrew word Chai (living), with the two Hebrew letters Chet and Yod attached to each other. Some say it refers to the Living God. Judaism as a religion is very focused on life, and the word chai has great significance. The typical Jewish toast is l'chayim (to life). Gifts to charity are routinely given in multiples of 18 (the numeric value of the word Chai). Prev | Table of Contents | Next Got a question or comment? Write Us!

Tzitzit

Tallit

Life, Death, and Morning

Prev | Table of Contents | Next Life | Death | Care for the Dead | Mourning | Kaddish | Recommended Reading Life, Death, and Mourning Level: Basic Life In Judaism, life is valued above almost all else. The Talmud notes that all people are descended from a single person, thus taking a single life is like destroying an entire world, and saving a single life is like saving an entire world. Of the 613 commandments, only the prohibitions against murder, idolatry, incest and adultery are so important that they cannot be violated to save a life. Judaism not only permits, but often requires a person to violate the commandments if necessary to save a life. A person who is extremely ill, for example, or a woman in labor, is not permitted to fast on Yom Kippur, because fasting at such a time would endanger the person's life. Doctors are permitted to answer emergency calls on the Sabbath, even though this may violate many Sabbath prohibitions. Abortions where necessary to save the life of a mother are mandatory (the unborn are not considered human life in Jewish law, thus the mother's human life overrides). Because life is so valuable, we are not permitted to do anything that may hasten death, not even to prevent suffering. Euthanasia, suicide, and assisted suicide are strictly forbidden by Jewish law. The Talmud states that you may not even move a dying person's arms if that would shorten his life. However, where death is imminent and certain, and the patient is suffering, Jewish law does permit one to cease artificially prolonging life. Thus, in certain circumstances, Jewish law permits "pulling the plug". Death In Judaism, death is not a tragedy, even when it occurs early in life or through unfortunate circumstances. Death is a natural process. Our deaths, like our lives, have meaning and are all part of God's plan. In addition, we have a firm belief in an afterlife, a world to come, where those who have lived a worthy life will be rewarded. Mourning practices in Judaism are extensive, but they are not an expression of fear or distaste for death. Jewish practices relating to death and mourning have two purposes: to show respect for the dead (kevod ha-met), and to comfort the living (nihum avelim), who will miss the deceased. Care for the Dead After a person dies, the eyes are closed, the body is laid on the floor and covered, and candles are lit next to the body. The body is never left alone until after burial, as a sign of respect. The people who sit with the dead body are called shomerim, from the root Shin-Mem-Resh, meaning guards or keepers. Respect for the dead body is a matter of paramount importance. For example, the shomerim may not eat, drink, or perform certains commandments such as prayer in the presence of the dead. To do so would be considered mocking the dead, because the dead can no longer do these things. Most communities have an organization to care for the dead, known as the chevra kaddisha (the holy society). These people are volunteers. Their work is considered extremely meritorious, because they are performing a service for someone who can never repay them. Autopsies in general are discouraged as desecration of the body. They are permitted, however, where it may save a life or where local law requires it. When autopsies must be performed, they should be minimally intrusive. The presence of a dead body is considered a source of ritual impurity. For this reason, a kohein may not be in the presence of a corpse. People who have been in the presence of a corpse customarily wash their hands, even though they need not. This is done to symbolically remove spiritual impurity, not physical uncleanness: it applies regardless of whether you have physically touched the body. In preparation for the burial, the body is thoroughly cleaned and wrapped in a simple, plain linen shroud. The Sages decreed that both the dress of the body and the coffin should be simple, so that a poor person would not receive less honor in death than a rich person. The body is wrapped in a tallit with its tzitzit rendered invalid. The body is not embalmed, and no organs or fluids may be removed. The body must not be cremated. It must be buried in the earth. Coffins are not required, but they may be used. The body is never displayed at funerals; open casket ceremonies are forbidden by Jewish law. According to Jewish law, exposing a body is considered disrespectful, because it allows not only friends, but also enemies to view the dead, mocking their helpless state. Jewish law requires that a tombstone be prepared, so that the deceased will not be forgotten and the grave will not be desecrated. It is customary in some communities to keep the tombstone veiled, or to delay in putting it up, until the end of the 12-month mourning period. The idea underlying this custom is that the dead will not be forgotten when he is being mourned every day. In communities where this custom is observed, there is generally a formal unveiling ceremony when the tombstone is revealed. It is also customary in many communities to place small stones on a gravesite when visiting it. This custom has become well-known from the movie Schindler's List, in which the children of Survivors place stones on the grave of Oscar Schindler. It is difficult to find much information about this custom; none of the usual resources on Orthodox or Conservative practice discusses it. The custom is not universal, even among traditional Jews, and there seems to be some doubt as to how it originated. It seems to have superstitious origins. As far as we can tell, it is a little like leaving a calling card for the dead person, to let them know you were there. Some other sources suggest that it was originally done because we are required to erect a tombstone, and tombstones that actually looked like tombstones tended to get desecrated. Mourning Jewish mourning practices can be broken into several periods of decreasing intensity. These mourning periods allow the full expression of grief, while discouraging excesses of grief and allowing the mourner to gradually return to a normal life. When a close relative (parent, sibling, child, or spouse) first hears of the death of a relative, it is required to express the initial grief by tearing one's clothing. The tear is made over the heart if the deceased is a parent, or over the right side of the chest for other relatives. This tearing of the clothing is referred to as "keriyah" (literally, "tearing"). The mourner recites the blessing describing God as "the true Judge", an acceptance of God's taking of the life of a relative. From the time of death to the burial, the mourner's sole responsibility is caring for the deceased and preparing for the burial. This period is known as aninut. During this time, the mourners are exempt from all positive commandments ("thou shalt"s), because the preparations take first priority. This period usually lasts a day or two; Judaism requires prompt burial. During this aninut period, the family should be left alone and allowed the full expression of grief. Condolence calls or visits should not be made during this time. After the burial, a close relative, near neighbor, or friend prepares the first meal for the mourners, the se'udat havra'ah (meal of condolence). This meal traditionally consists of eggs (a symbol of life) and bread. The meal is for the family only, not for visitors. After this time, condolence calls are permitted. The next period of mourning is known as shiva (seven, because it lasts seven days). Shiva is observed by parents, children, spouses, and siblings of the deceased, preferably all together in the deceased's home. Shiva begins on the day of burial and continues until the morning of the seventh day after burial. Mourners sit on low stools or the floor instead of chairs, do not wear leather shoes, do not shave or cut their hair, do not wear cosmetics, do not work, and do not do things for comfort or pleasure, such as bathe, have sex, put on fresh clothing, or study Torah (including Torah related to mourning and grief, despite the custom to the contrary!). Mourners wear the clothes that they tore at the time of learning of the death or at the funeral. Prayer services are held where the shiva is held, with friends neighbors and relatives making up the minyan (10 people required for certain prayers). The Sabbath that occurs during the shiva period counts toward the seven days of shiva, but is not observed as a day of mourning. If a festival occurs during the mourning period, the mourning is terminated, but if the burial occurs during a festival, the mourning is delayed until after the festival. The next period of mourning is known as shloshim (thirty, because it lasts until the 30th day after burial). During that period, the mourners do not attend parties or celebrations, do not shave or cut their hair, and do not listen to music. The final period of formal mourning is avelut, which is observed only for a parent. This period lasts for twelve months after the burial. During that time, mourners avoid parties, celebrations, theater, and concerts. For eleven months of that period, starting at the time of burial, the son of the deceased customarily recites the mourner's Kaddish every day, even though he need not say it at all. After the avelut period is complete, the family of the deceased is not permitted to continue formal mourning; however, there are a few continuing acknowledgments of the deceased. Every year, on the anniversary of the death, family members observe the deceased's Yahrzeit (Yiddish, lit. "anniversary"). Sons recite Kaddish and take an aliyah (bless the Torah reading) in synagogue if possible. Mourners light a candle in honor of the deceased that burns for 24 hours. In addition, during services on Yom Kippur, Shemini Atzeret, the last day of Passover, and Shavu'ot, after the haftarah reading in synagogue, close relatives recite the mourner's prayer, Yizkor ("May He remember . . .") in synagogue. Yahrzeit candles are also lit on those days. When visiting a mourner, a guest should not try to express grief with standard, shallow platitudes. The guest should allow the mourner to initiate conversations. One should not divert the conversation from talking about the deceased; to do so would limit the mourner's ability to fully express grief, which is the purpose of the mourning period. On the contrary, the caller should encourage conversation about the deceased. When leaving a house of mourning, it is traditional for the guest to say, "May the LORD comfort you with all the mourners of Zion and Jerusalem". Kaddish Kaddish is commonly known as a mourner's prayer, but in fact, variations on the Kaddish prayer are routinely recited at many other times, and the prayer itself has nothing to do with death or mourning. The prayer begins "May His great Name grow exalted and sanctified in the world that He created as He willed. May He give reign to His kingship in your lifetimes and in your days . . ." and continues in much that vein. The real mourner's prayer is El Molai Rachamim, which is customarily recited at grave sites and during funerals. Why, then, is Kaddish recited by mourners? After a great loss like the death of a parent, you might expect a person to lose faith in God, or to cry out against God's injustice. Instead, Judaism requires a mourner to stand up every day, publicly (i.e., in front of a minyan, a quorum of 10 adult men), and reaffirm faith in God despite this loss. To do so inures to the merit of the deceased in the eyes of God, because the deceased must have been a very good parent to raise a child who could express such faith in the face of personal loss. A person is permitted to recite Kaddish for other close relatives as well as parents, but only if his parents are dead. Recommended Reading The definitive book on Jewish mourning practices is Maurice Lamm's The Jewish Way in Death and Mourning. For information about the wide variety of Jewish views on what happens after death, see Simcha Paul Raphael's book, Jewish Views of the Afterlife. Both are available through most commercial bookstores. 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Jewish Holidays

Prev | Table of Contents | Next When Holidays Begin | Work on Holidays | Extra Day of Holidays | List of All Holiday Dates Jewish Holidays - Introduction Level: Basic This is the first in a series of pages on the Jewish holidays. Each of the pages in this series talks about the significance of a holiday, its traditional observances and related customs, the date on which each holiday will occur for five years, and in some cases recipes for traditional, Ashkenazic holiday-related foods. Pages are available regarding the following holidays and other special days: The Month of Tishri Rosh Hashanah Days of Awe Yom Kippur Sukkot Shemini Atzeret and Simchat Torah Chanukkah Tu B'Shevat Purim Passover The Counting of the Omer Shavu'ot Tisha B'Av Minor Fasts 20th Century Holidays A few general notes about Jewish holidays: When Holidays Begin All Jewish holidays begin the evening before the date specified. This is because a Jewish "day" begins and ends at sunset, rather than at midnight. If you read the story of creation in Genesis Chapter 1, you will notice that it says, "And there was evening, and there was morning, one day" at the end of the first paragraph. From this, we infer that a day begins with evening, that is, sunset. For a discussion of why Jewish holidays occur on different days every year, see Jewish Calendar. Work on Holidays Work is not permitted on Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur, the first and second days of Sukkot, Shemini Atzeret, Simchat Torah, Shavu'ot, and the first, second, seventh, and eighth days of Passover. The "work" prohibited on those holidays is the same as that prohibited on the Sabbath, except that cooking, baking, transferring fire from another fire already lit before the holiday, and carrying outside, all of which are forbidden on Sabbaths, are permitted on holidays. When a holiday occurs on a Sabbath, the full Sabbath restrictions are observed. Extra Day of Holidays You may notice that the number of days of some holidays do not accord with what the Bible specifies. In most cases, we celebrate one more day than the Bible requires. There is an interesting reason for this additional day. The Jewish calendar is lunar, with each month beginning on the new moon. The new months used to be determined by observation. When the new moon was observed, the Sanhedrin declared the beginning of a new month and sent out messengers to tell people when the month began. People in distant communities could not always be notified of the new moon (and, therefore, of the first day of the month), so they did not know the correct day to celebrate. They knew that the old month would be either 29 or 30 days, so if they did not get notice of the new moon, they celebrated holidays on both possible days. For more information about the lunar months, see Jewish Calendar. This practice of celebrating an extra day was maintained as a custom even after we adopted a precise mathematical calendar, because it was the long-standing custom of the Jews outside Israel. This extra day is not celebrated by Israelis, regardless of whether they are in Israel at the time of the holiday, but is celebrated by everybody else, even if they are visiting Israel at the time of the holiday. Rosh Hashanah is celebrated as two days everywhere (in Israel and outside Israel), because it occurs on the first day of a month. Messengers were not dispatched on the holiday, so even people in Israel did not know whether a new moon had been observed, and everybody celebrated two days. The practice was also maintained as a custom after the mathematical calendar was adopted. Yom Kippur is celebrated only one day everywhere, because extending the holiday's severe restrictions for a second day would cause an undue hardship. List of All Holiday Dates Below is a list of all major holiday dates for the years 5774 through 5778 (or fall 2013 through summer 2018). All holidays begin at sunset on the day before the date specified here. Holiday 5776 5777 5778 5779 5780 Rosh Hashanah 14Sep15 3Oct16 21Sep17 10Sep18 30Sep19 Yom Kippur 23Sep15 12Oct16 30Sep17 19Sep18 9Oct19 Sukkot 28Sep15 17Oct16 5Oct17 24Sep18 14Oct19 Shemini Atzeret 5Oct15 24Oct16 12Oct17 1Oct18 21Oct19 Simchat Torah 6Oct15 25Oct16 13Oct17 2Oct18 22Oct19 Chanukkah 7Dec15 25Dec16 13Dec17 3Dec18 23Dec19 Tu B'Shevat 25Jan16 11Feb17 31Jan18 21Jan19 10Feb20 Purim 24Mar16 12Mar17 1Mar18 21Mar19 10Mar20 Pesach (Passover) 23Apr16 11Apr17 31Mar18 20Apr19 9Apr20 Lag B'Omer 26May16 14May17 3May18 23May19 12May20 Shavu'ot 12Jun16 31May17 20May18 9Jun19 29May20 Tisha B'Av 14Aug16 1Aug17 22Jul18 11Aug19 30Jul20 Prev | Table of Contents | Next Got a question or comment? Write Us!

Tisha B'Av

Prev | Table of Contents | Next List of Dates Tisha B'Av Level: Basic Tisha B'Av, the Fast of the Ninth of Av, is a day of mourning to commemorate the many tragedies that have befallen the Jewish people, many of which coincidentally have occurred on the ninth of Av. "Tisha B'Av" means the ninth (day) of Av. It usually occurs during late July or early August. Tisha B'Av primarily commemorates the destruction of the first and second Temples, both of which were destroyed on the ninth of Av (the first by the Babylonians in 586 B.C.E.; the second by the Romans in 70 C.E.). Although this holiday is primarily meant to commemorate the destruction of the Temple, it is appropriate to consider on this day the many other tragedies of the Jewish people, many of which occurred on this day, most notably the expulsion of the Jews from Spain in 1492. For many, Tisha B'Av is the culmination of a three week period of increasing mourning, beginning with the fast of the 17th of Tammuz, which commemorates the first breach in the walls of Jerusalem, before the First Temple was destroyed. During this three week period, weddings and other parties are customarily not held, and people refrain from cutting their hair; as in the case of the Christian-like ascetic practices during the Counting of the Omer, such practices are really not to be recommended. From the first to the ninth of Av, it is customary to refrain from eating meat or drinking wine (except on the Sabbath) and from wearing new clothing; but neither meat nor wine is actually forbidden until the last meal before the fast, and only freshly-ironed clothes are prohibited to be worn in the days of the week that the fast comes in until the fast has passed. The restrictions on Tisha B'Av are similar to those on Yom Kippur, starting a little before sunset the day before the fast and continuing until after the stars come out at the end of the fast: to refrain from eating and drinking (even water); washing, bathing, shaving, or wearing cosmetics; wearing leather shoes; engaging in sexual relations; and studying Torah (this last item is permitted on Yom Kippur). Work in the ordinary sense of the word is also restricted. People who are ill need not fast on this day. Many of the traditional mourning practices are observed: people refrain from smiles, laughter, and idle conversation, and sit on low stools. In synagogue, the book of Lamentations is read and mourning prayers are recited. List of Dates Tisha B'Av occurs on the following days on the civil calendar: 14 August 2016 (5776) 1 August 2017 (5777) 22 July 2018 (5778) 11 August 2019 (5779) 30 July 2020 (5780) Prev | Table of Contents | Next Got a question or comment? Write Us!